A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that ...
watermelons farmer - funny jokes
There was a farmer who raised watermelons. He was disturbed by some local kids who would sneak into his watermelon patch at night and eat watermelons. After some careful thought he came up with a clever ...
Two employees for the gas company - funny
Two employees for the gas company were at a house call. The younger man said to the older one, “Geez, you’re old!”
“Yeah, that may be so, but I can still outrun you,” replied ...
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately he began paying her court and flattering her outrageously. The girl liked the young man, but she was taken a bit aback by his fast and ...
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there ...
A man called his mom from the USA .
Man : Mom, I have AIDS.
Mother: Don’t come back home, my son.
…
Man : Why mom ?
Mother: If you come back home, then your wife will be infected. From your wife to your ...
THE SOFTWARE ENGINEER - FUNNY JOKES
Once upon a time, there was a software engineer who used to develop programs on his Pentium machine, sitting under a tree on the banks of a river. He used to earn his bread by ...
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes
The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked,”You know, I’ve lost my wife here in the supermarket.
Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?”
“Why?” ...
ENGLISH WOMAN -FUNNY JOKES
In the days when you couldn’t count on a public toilet facility, an English woman was planning a trip to India. She was registered to stay in a small guest house owned by the local schoolmaster.
She was ...
A soldier stationed in Iraq recently received a letter from his
girlfriend back home. It read as follows:Dear Ricky,
I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is
just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you ...
There once was a man who went to a computer trade show. Each day as he entered, the man told the guard at the door: “I am a great thief, renowned for my feats of shoplifting. Be forewarned, for this ...
An elderly man in Florida had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely: Picnic tables, horseshoe courts, a volleyball court, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was ...
A Japanese tourist hails a taxi at Heathrow Airport London and asks to be taken across London to the city.
On the way the tourist sees a Toyota car and shouts,
“Oh! TOYOTA! Made in Japan. Very fast.”
Next he sees a Nissan ...
“Did you hear what happened to old Andy McTavish last Saturday?”
“He walked all the way to Cardiff for the Cup Final to save on the train fare and then had to pay £20 to get in because he was too ...
Two mad fans were sitting frozen and feeling awful on the terrace were complaining that the torrential rain and severe fog was making the game very boring to watch.
They decided that they might as well go and grab a bite ...