Fingers - funny A guy was packing for a business trip and his three year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, he reached out and stuck her ...Continue Reading

Wrong trial - funny At the height of a political corruption trial, the prosecuting attorney attacked a witness. "Isn't it true," he bellowed, "that you accepted $5,000 to compromise this case?" The witness stared out the window as though he hadn't heard the question. "Isn't it true that you accepted $5,000 to compromise this ...Continue Reading

Ice Cream - funny An elderly couple was watching television one evening. The wife said, "I am going to get a dish of ice cream now." Kindly, the husband offered to get the ice cream for his wife. "I'll write it down so you don't forget," she said. "I won't forget," the ...Continue Reading

C0nd0ms - funny One day on the way home from work, I stopped at the local Pharmacy and while I was checking out, I picked up some candy to take home for me and my 7-year old son. It was a bag of Gold Coins (Gold Foil- covered chocolate candy coins). There ...Continue Reading

Eating grass -funny One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he noticed two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop, and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?" he asked one man. "We don't have any money for food," ...Continue Reading

Math Teacher - funny The night before one exam, two students tied one on, (well, actually, tied two on, one each), and managed to sleep through the final. They realized they were in serious trouble, so they agreed to tell the professor that they had a flat tire on the way ...Continue Reading

Spaghetti Spaghetti -funny A wealthy man was having an affair with an Italian woman for several months. One night, during one of their rendezvous, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he paid her a large sum of money if she ...Continue Reading

Talking Frog - funny A guy is 86 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up." He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me ...Continue Reading

Don't step on the ducks -funny Three men die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It ...Continue Reading

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says: "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man ...Continue Reading

Who was more polite - funny A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man said he was the more courteous because, whenever he got up and ...Continue Reading

The Use of a Handsaw - funny At the mall, my wife and I picked up some hardware items, including a handsaw. We were heading back to the car when we passed a steakhouse. Let's try it, my wife suggested. Although I felt a little foolish carrying the saw, I followed her ...Continue Reading

Blonde And Chimps - funny A blonde motorist was two hours from Sydney when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the blonde's car and asked, "Are you going to Sydney?" "Sure," answered the blonde, "do you need a lift?" "Not for me. ...Continue Reading

US Highway 22 - funny The highway patrolman sported a car driving dangerously slow on a much-traveled freeway. He pulled it over and found the driver to be an elderly lady with four other older women as passengers. "Lady," said the officer, "your slow driving is almost as dangerous as speeders. You ...Continue Reading

A Driving Debacle - funny A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?" "No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. ...Continue Reading